Wednesday, June 5, 2013

It's a baby!

Yep.  Most of you, perhaps even all of you, already knew that David and I are expecting again.  
It was a shock and a surprise for us.  More so for me, because I had other plans, and those plans were changed immediately.  For the last two months, I've been wrapping my brain around everything.  It's been hard.  Added to my personal feelings are the worst pregnancy symptoms I've ever experienced.  I have nausea, all the time.  There have been times when it was so intense that it was woken me from sleep.  I pee all the time, sometimes 4 times a night.  That's not supposed to happen for another 4 months!  My food tastes are so particular, likely because of the nausea.  The only thing I want are bread and carbs and cheese.  I'm tired and have no energy, that's given right.  I've maintained exercising at least 5 days a week and every day it is a struggle.  Right now, it doesn't make me feel good.  But I do it because I know it is good for me.  Plus, I have to do something to offset all the bread and carbs I'm consuming.    
Along with all that, there's the added bonus of David and I having to buy a new to us vehicle.  In case you were wondering, I have never wanted a minivan.  I repeat I HAVE NEVER WANTED A MINIVAN.  Of course there are other options, but price for space, a minivan can't be beat.  So that's likely what we'll end up with because I'm not going to intentionally spend more money so I don't have to drive a stinkin minivan. Plus there's all this little stuff.  I had been playing around with the idea of being a surrogate, that can't happen now.  Surrogacy agencies do not want women who have had 3 C-Sections, which I absolutely have to have this time.  Josh, Leah, David and I had begun to plan a trip to Italy next March.  That's not going to happen now.  Quite frankly, I don't want to be breast feeding while traveling Italy.  And then there is my first marathon on April 14th.  I'll have 3 months to train for that.  
I know these are all selfish things but that's exactly why I wasn't planning on having my own baby.  
I talked to my OB about my feelings, he was very understanding.  He told me that it's hard when you start a pregnancy feeling so bad because you begin to build a negative bond with the baby.  He said that most of the time that goes away when you can feel the baby move.  I'm anxiously awaiting some baby movements so I can start to feel some excitement about this pregnancy.  

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