Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Riley's Story, Part ll

Despite my best will power efforts and my doctor's efforts, nothing changed.  So Friday morning we checked in to Labor and Delivery.  They took me back to prep me.  David had to stay in the waiting area.  Already, this was so different than my birth with Hannah.  David never left my side with Hannah.  My nurse was really nice.  A few minutes after I was back there she looked at me and said "You wanted a VBAC, didn't you?"  Tears again, as I nodded.  After about 10  minutes, I asked why David could be with me.  I was having a hard time, and I knew if David were with me I'd be happier.  She said he could be back there with me, just that they don't normally bring dads back because of limited space.  For whatever reasons, she told me she'd get him for me.  Maybe she felt sorry for me.  While David was back there, we talked with our nurse about everything.  David and I were so concerned about Riley being taken away from us right after she was born.  With Hannah, I was able to breast-feed her before she was an hour old.  However, I knew the nurses at Cape Fear would take Riley to the nursery to do all her checks right after she was born.  We talked my birthing experience with Hannah.  Eventually she left to go do some stuff.  When she came back she said "Ok, as long as everything goes smoothly, you can breast-feed while in the recovery room and your husband can stay with you."  Yes, I had to go to recovery for an hour.  I was thrilled and relieved and happy.  So was David.  Later I learned, from the lactation consultant, that this was unheard of and a very big deal that my OB had agreed to allow this.  It was time to go back to the surgery room.  David could not go with me.  Again different than with Hannah.  When I received the epidural with Hannah, David held me in position as I leaned against his chest.  This time I would be leaning against my nurses' chest.  They brought David back right after the epidural.  Shortly thereafter, Riley Moon was born, at 1223.  

Everything did go smoothly.  Riley and David joined me for the hour I was in recovery.  Then David took Riley to the nursery for her checks and I went to get settled in a room.  Once David and I were in the room, he started to make some phone calls.  In the meantime, David bounced back and forth between my room and the nursery.  You see, Hannah never left us.  Everything was done in our hospital room.  We heard horror stories about babies being taken to the nursery at Cape Fear for hours and neither of us wanted that.  That was all there was to it.  I met with the lactation consultant on Saturday.  When I told her about being able to nurse Riley in the recovery room, she was thrilled.  She said it's something the lactation consultants are trying to get the hospital to start doing.  

Looking back, the two days before I went to the hospital were rough.  I dreaded it.  I refused to tell anyone because I didn't want to admit that I had failed again.  Yet I still had two days to process it, which made it easier after Riley was born than my previous C-Section.  It took days for me to get over it, after Hannah was born.  This time, I find that I think about "my failure" very little.  All that matters is that Riley is here.  I've talked to David and if we do this a third time, I'll go into it believing I will have a third C-Section.  Not that I won't hold out as long as possible for a VBAC, but I'm beginning to think that a  VBAC is not in the cards for me and THAT"S OK!  

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